Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What I’ve Learned This Post-Christmas Vacation—So Far

1. “Dayton has suffered its first double-homicide of the year” is the most depressing sentence in the world.

2. There is an entire television show in which second-rate celebrities pretend to be retail or food-service slaves, and say “I get that a lot” every time someone cries, “holy crap, you totally look like a second-rate celebrity.”

3. Lean Pockets are repulsive.

4. A shocking number of people do not secure their wireless networks.

5. Some people think I need to lose weight. Some people think I’m too skinny. Apparently, I have two options: be a trophy, or be a typical southern Ohio resident. Both of those options suck, and actually aren’t really options, since I’m pretty sure I’m stuck with my own damn metabolism. Alas.

6. I have no upper-body strength. My arm is still sore from playing Wii—although, in my defense, I did spend hours stubbornly trying to beat my power throw bowling score.

7. If I lived here, I wouldn’t do anything—just sink into my rapidly-expanding body and cuddle my Wii console as I gave way to a sugar coma, with the strains of country-pop bouncing in the background and lending amusing contrast to my pathetic situation.

8. I’m really just not that interesting. Hopefully that changes and I can write something semi-not-completely-dull soon.

15 comments:

Ranting Pacifist said...

Ah, Sam. It really took you over 20 years to realize you have no upper body strength? You are a girlie girl.

Dillo said...

YC,
I enjoyed your prose. Unique sense of humor and life perspective. Keep it up!

justagirl said...

I've only just discovered your blog and followed immediately. You have a very clever way of writing and your sense of humor makes things a great deal funnier to read.

mysterygirl said...

what do you mean your not interesting?! you clearly are! I am definitely going to follow you!

zuzula said...

Anything interesting yet? ;)

A Convicted Heart said...

# 4. That's entirely too true. Up to 74% of wireless network administrators fail to properly secure their network.*

*This might or might not be a made-up statistic.

Chronos said...

97% of statistics are made up on the spot.

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crazy ramblings of a tired mom said...

We all relize that our upper body strength sucks once that Wii controller enters our hands. Your not alone.

Jocelyn said...

Hey Sam. This is Jocelyn. We were in sixth and seventh grade together. I believe we may have been Facebook friends, but I deactivated my Facebook and refuse to log back into it, so I may never know. I considered writing this message with terrible grammar in order to annoy you, but then I was worried you wouldn't get the joke.

Youthful Curmudgeon said...

Hey! I'd have gotten the joke, but only if you'd still identified yourself--otherwise I'd be pissed. I don't blog here anymore really, but can be found (as Paprika) at ppbloggers.wordpress.com.

Also, how on earth are you? Where are you? You should e-mail me or something, yo.

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Anonymous said...

Interesting blog. Here a person shares which type of things learned from this post christmas vacation. I also don’t know about these situations such as most of the people don't have secure wireless internet. Thanks for sharing the information. Apart from this article, I learned about hammerhead shark which is the largest of all hammerhead species.